Humanity Is Going Back to the Moon. The Toilet Broke on Day One.
The big picture: Four astronauts launched from Kennedy Space Center yesterday aboard Artemis II — the first crewed mission toward the Moon since 1972. Three Americans and one Canadian are heading 250,000 miles into deep space in a spacecraft that’s never carried humans. They’ll break the distance record by 4,000 miles, see portions of the far side never viewed by human eyes, and return to Earth via Pacific splashdown on April 10th. Also the toilet broke on day one.
Why it matters: This mission is the critical test for everything that follows. Artemis III in 2027 tests lunar docking. Artemis IV in 2028 puts boots on the Moon. If this spacecraft can’t keep four humans alive in deep space, the whole program resets. AND after the heat shield took unexpected damage on the uncrewed test flight, this is the real test of whether it holds at 3,000°F.
The launch: Thousands camped on Cocoa Beach. The rocket launched just before sunset. One astronaut radioed: “We have a beautiful moonrise. We’re heading right at it.” The crew is circling Earth and running tests before performing “translunar injection” — getting on a trajectory toward the Moon — expected tonight.
The danger: The ISS orbits 250 miles up. The Moon is 250,000 miles away. The spacecraft has never carried humans. The heat shield was damaged during the uncrewed mission. Reentry temperatures hit 3,000°F. Modifications were made. This is the real test.
The toilet: Its fault light blinked on day one. NASA told them to use bags. Apollo astronauts did it that way too — and left their waste on the Moon, where it’s presumably still sitting. NASA says they’ve fixed it. Also, unlike the ISS where they recycle urine for drinking water, the Artemis crew vents theirs into space. The spacecraft pisses into the void multiple times a day.
The mission: Expected to reach the Moon by Monday. They’ll swing farther past it than Apollo, breaking the distance record by 4,000+ miles. Hours spent studying the lunar surface, including far-side portions never seen by human eyes. Crew trained by geologists to spot and photograph unique features. Cell chips distributed throughout the spacecraft for medical research on deep-space effects. Splashdown in the Pacific on April 10th. Total journey: ~700,000 miles.
The road ahead: After Artemis II: test lunar docking (2027), then boots on the Moon (2028). Then the race: beat China to a permanent lunar base, then push for Mars. Meanwhile, SpaceX just filed to go public in June in what could be one of the biggest IPOs in history, valuing itself at $1 trillion+. Musk hopes to raise $50-75 billion.
By the numbers:
250,000 — miles to the Moon
4,000+ — miles farther than Apollo’s distance record
700,000 — total miles for the round trip
3,000°F — reentry temperature
1972 — last time humans flew to the Moon
$1 trillion+ — SpaceX’s self-valuation for its IPO
1 — broken toilet on day one
The bottom line: Four people are orbiting Earth right now in a spacecraft nobody’s flown, about to head farther from home than any human in over fifty years. The toilet broke and NASA told them to use bags. They’ll see the far side of the Moon. They’ll break the distance record. AND the same company that might get us to Mars just filed a trillion-dollar IPO while its founder chips away at democracy back here. The void is getting pissed into — literally and figuratively. But the Moon is still up there, and for the first time in a generation, we’re heading back.
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